Baba, while you were away…..

Baba,

It is with a lot of expectation, anticipation, anxiety, excitement and joy that I pen this script just to keep you abreast of what has been happening.
Baba, from a sporting angle, our Mighty Team Gor Mahia has been slapped with a demand from KRA to pay up, to pay up millions yawa, over one hundred millions to be exact. You know Baba, we as fanatics of this team have been dumbfounded by the decision by those fellows to ask us for over hundred millions. We have been so peeved by their request, they should have asked us for a billion, that we would have paid. Hundreds of millions?
No….We have requested our fans to send m-pesa instead, and Baba, it would be good to know that at this point in time, we have nearly reached those hundreds of millions. Shame on KRA. Ifuo!
They should know that we only pay bills, as in billions. They should even know that the m-pesa number is called a paybill number because we pay billions. Shame on KRA again.
Baba, Kogalo nyam nyam also forgot about Solomon Nasio, he broke his nose and the bill for treating the nose rose to 150,000 shillings. Baba, Kogalo are not used to things like broken noses, they only deal with injuries like broken legs, broken hands, and were still coming to terms with how to deal with treating broken noses. This was also sorted by m-pesa. Baba, you yourself have never had a broken nose, and since Baba has never broken his nose, nyam nyam hawajui maneno ya broken nose.
While you were away Baba, Arsenal, that our team that we support in the English version of the Kenyan Premier League, Baba, I can see you smiling sheepishly as you read this…well Baba, they won! can you believe, they won! The F.A Cup. That was the first time that they were winning a trophy other than Emirates Cup since 2005, when you were laying the foundation for chungwa in the referendum of that year. Baba, I suggest that you be traveling out of the country more when Arsenal is in the semi final of a major competition like The F.A Cup or the English version of the Kenyan Premier League or Yiuwefa, as you love to call the Champions League. I think you being away at such crucial times enables Arsenal win.
Kogalo nyam nyam were also given a notice of eviction from Tok Komwanda by Jaduong Evans Kidero who himself was given a notice of eviction from City Hole, yes City Hole, only for the Supreme Court Big Brother to delay the decision to evict Kidero.
Baba, Divock Origi, son of Mike Okoth, he has decided to kick a football for Belgium instead of Harambee Stars. He has decided to go to the World Cup in Brazil and you can rest assured that Baba, the young man will represent the party rather well. I think it is a smart choice, one that has struck a savory CORD with many a Kenyan citizen exasperated at watching Harambee Stars perform so badly that they can hardly beat anyone except themselves. Baba, I know that you will support him with one acCORD.
While you were away, Mike Okoth’s former team mate Francis Onyiso said something,or did something and his wife forced him to apologize in The Star gaseti. Maiyoooooooo!
Aki Baba you missed the tight security at a rally, a Safari Rally and not a political rally. This Safari Rally was taking place in Kiambu and the man of sieke ensured that the fans and competitors were given a tight security by a single police officer, Linda Okello. Her security was so tight that it was commented on by many,kwanza on the Facebook, yawa and even her bosses were suggesting at one point to take her tight security to Mandera but that story was somehow killed and so the tight security remained where it was.
You know what, the Kenyan racing team went to Burma’s…that is what they are calling Bahamas….they showed the world they are supreme racists, winning the 4 x 1500m for men, 4 x 1500 for women and 4 x 800m for men…upholding our great racist tradition.
We are hearing that you are coming back Baba, and the man of sieke has said that the Safari Rally they were planning for you has been banned. Baba, how can they ban your Safari Rally? Did he say banned or panned?
Baba, so much happened while you were away, I just but captured a small, very very small piece of what happened.
Welcome back Baba, I am sure you will hear and read a lot more from others.

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